You know if you have met an HD woman if you know how to communicate with them, both physcially and verbally. Finding an HD woman is not the answer to your misery, just a temporary balm. I'm telling you, my H went through this with the woman he was with before me, and having an HD man and an HD woman in a relationship was NOT the magic formula.
SD: CeMar doesn't listen to me. This will go in one ear and out the other; he will completely ignore my point, come up with a list a mile long on how things SHOULD be, he'll give me at least two fantastic references, either books or web sites, that back up his arguments (which I will read because he finds amazing resources), and he will be no farther along to solving his problem because he refuses to draw boundaries with his wife. And I LOVE CeMar. I just can't help him because he refuses to help himself.
You, on the other hand, are relatively new here, and I've seen you come to some significant realizations on your own. I have tremendous hope for you. I have tremendous hope for CeMar, too, he just doesn't want to hear it.
I have said this before, and I will say it again. HDs and LDs speak different languages. You may THINK you are communicating with yor wife, but you are not because she feels defensive. This is not communicating. This is you talking, and her stewing. NOTHING COMPUTES in this type of scenario.
YOU may understand that the two of you are speaking different languages, but SHE doesn't get that. She hears blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah. She has turned you off and tuned you out.
It is time to find another frequency. Time to learn her language, and you must do it standing firmly planted on your BOUNDARY LINE. If you have he Kahonas to do this, you have a chance at changing your marriage.
