It seems to me that our leaving spouses are hung up on the feeling of being in love.

My H to a T.

If we want them back, we are going to somehow find a way to be more "in love"able

Idk about this. "In love" never lasts. So even though we might morph into Mr/Ms Loveable, the fix will only be temporary. I don't know that there can be a lasting R without a mutual belief in love being "more than a feeling".

Just my humble opinion smile But thanks for the quote 2ndtime, it was full of things to ponder.

Cheers

Me 46 H 56
M 22 yrs
S22, D20, Twin Ss18

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
What you stop.
And what you reinforce.
~~~~~~~
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.