Your H will most likely say whatever gives him the easiest way out. He doesn't want to deal with you being upset so he tells you whatever he thinks you want to hear. Or maybe, he even believes himself at the moment of telling you.
But then he turns and does whatever he pleases.
He has shown you that at this moment he has no self control. It will go easier on you if you stop expecting him to suddenly have good judgement and self control.
Sorry about the latest development. On the bright side, there's not too much left for H to do... so you should have a break from these unpleasant surprises for a while.
You have said you resent people telling you what to do and I understand that. But I'm going to make a suggestion anyway. There are steps you can take to protect yourself without going as far as D. You need to take them. If that means legal separation with a formal order of support in place - then do that. Also you should address the custody issue. Your H could turn on a dime and decide the boys should be with him. Please don't say
"Oh no, H wouldn't do that. He said he would do this and that."
Because he has shown over and over that he is not a man of his word right now.
Take care of yourself K.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
sorry to hear about your latest sitch K Miz is right, you need to protect yourself and your kids now from further upset by applying for a legal separation. He keeps changing his mind now, so he could just as well change his mind on paying you any money. My H promised he would pay the gas and electric bills, but so far I've had nothing off him! Stay strong and positive for you and your kids We're here for you
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I was wondering the same thing myself miz. K, I was thinking of you yesterday as I know it was BD. Hope you're ok
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Miz, I'd give her a ring if I was you. Yesterday was D day for her and she's going to be taking it pretty hard I hope she's ok as well, she needs friends and family around her at the moment. Hope you're ok K, my thoughts are with you at this time (((((Kelela)))))
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
To miz and 180 I'm sorry for being away for couple of days. I have. Been feeling really low this is the first weekend without my boys but I'm OK. I'm at The drive in tonight so I'm going to have a good night and not worrying about my boys and feeling sad. I'm still hoping that one day my family will be together again. But in The mean time I have to learn to let go of H and let him live his new life and I need to start living mine now. I'm very proud of myself even tho I so wanted to text H today but I didn't and I'm not going to any time soon until I have to register The boys for school and then after that only if they have a band concert or a school play or a teacher conferences I will text him. This will be The only way for me to move on. Again I'm sorry to make you two worry. I just need a day or two to stop being sad that this may be the end of my 13 years of marriage. I'll keep posting on here and thank you for thinking of me.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Good for you K You sound really positive and I'm so pleased that you're ok I'm glad that you're moving on and doing your 180s. I'm really proud of you I haven't got my son this weekend either. He's coming back tomorrow afternoon. I spent my day with friends and a friend came over for a meal tonight. It won't be long before your friend comes to live where you are That'll be so good for you I'm sorry to hear you've been low, but this is understandable. I had a feeling that is why you've not been on, but you are taking it really well Looking forward to hearing from you soon We're here for you
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Miz is right, you need to protect yourself and your kids now from further upset by applying for a legal separation. He keeps changing his mind now, so he could just as well change his mind on paying you any money. My H promised he would pay the gas and electric bills, but so far I've had nothing off him!
We're here for you