Wife just came to my house, to pick daughter up for her visitation. I found shortly before, that wife had seen an attorney yesterday. I also found out that Wife refers to OM's mother as "mom"....What in the F*&^k????
When W arrived, Daughter was playing in the back yard with some friends and family. Daughter was very upset that she had to leave. She basically went kicking and screaming that she didn't want to go. That was very difficult for me to be a part of.
and the saga continues. Wife just texted me that she feels the parenting plan should be adjusted, because daughter said she wanted to spend more time with her mom.....funny, daughter tells me that she wants to spend more time at my house. So here we are....my beautiful daughter is going to become a pawn....AWESOME!
My w andi are seeing a therapist that specializes in child development for the purpose of learning co parenting best practices. It's so tough but if she is sincere about wanting to be a good parent ..this might be an option - it also gives you and w an hour of focus and communication with a referee
You own a business.......do you have a active local chamber of commerce? Couldbe good marketing to offer to volunteer - and network
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I'm sorry you are having such difficulty. OM in your child's life has to be soooo difficult. I haven't got there yet, as H's OW has not entered their lives. I will do everything in my human power to put that off as long as possible.
So, you are very validated with your emotions regarding your D and OM in her life.
This all does suk. But, you are handling the whole thing better than you think.. Living as though you are single is a good idea. And having as little face to face interactions w your W is probably good too.
Hang in there, SP. I am thinking of you. Wish you could GAL in Boston w us tomorrow.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
PS, thank you for the suggestion. I wish wife was in a better place in regards to her feelings towards me. It has recently become apparent that she still has a lot of anger and resentment. She is not in a position to be part of anything with me, even though it would be in our daughters best interests. Joint counseling to co-parent better would be very helpful. I will keep that tucked into my mind for the future. Thank you
GTO, I appreciate the words of support. I am trying to do the best I can, but I know I can do better. Wife sent me a text saying that all she ever wanted, and still wants, is to show daughter of a happy loving couple. She says that we showed her a very ugly model of a loving marriage.....Perhaps that is why she is pursuing the relationship with OM so quickly. To make up for lost time and set and example for daughter????
New twist, and I have that same old feeling of despair.
Daughter asked me last night, while we were getting ready for bed, "Daddy can I tell you something". I said, sure sweetheart, you can always tell Dad anything. She hesitated and said "no", because I wouldn't like what she had to say. I told her she could always share anything with me, about anything and everything. She proceeded to tell me that "mommy is dating OM'. I didn't really know how to handle it, so I asked her what made her think that. She said the daughter of OM's friends told her. This is the 12yo. little girl who does a lot of babysitting for wife. I asked daughter how she felt about that. She said she didn't like it at all, not one bit. Without knowing what the best way to handle it, I decided to redirect the conversation onto something different.
I feel so bad for daughter. It is such a shame that a sweet little innocent girl has to deal with the feelings she is undoubtedly experiencing.
Suckerpunch, while I don't have my kids at that age anymore, and I don't have to worry about OM affecting my sitch, I still feel sorry for you having to go through with this. The only advise I can give, is to be positive with your daughter, and as much as you want to complain/whinge/bitch about the OM, don't do or say anything negative. That way it will never come back to you, nor will your daughter have to make hard decisions about who to believe at times.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Good advice, I think I am going to do just that. Like the rest of the journey, I cannot be part of wifes. She has to make her own decision and live her own life, and I will live mine. That won't stop the hurt for daughter, but it is all I can do. Like you said Hotwheels, whining and complaining isn't going to do me any good. I will just have to man up and keep my mouth shut.
I woke up in the middle of the night yet again, this time at 3:00am. I have been routinely waking up with thoughts of wife, almost every night for the past month. This came to me this morning, and it is now my new mantra,
"This may not be the life I wanted, but this is the life I have. I am going to live it"
SP... You life is going to evolve. It will not always be like it is now.
Whining and complaining is going to fall on deaf ears. Her ears are hearing the call of the siren beckoning her to the rocks of D. She can't hear anything else.
You, on the other hand, are the captain of your own ship. You now have new charts to navigate the stormy seas. Soon you will hit calm waters and it will be smoother sailing.
Just don't shoot albatross. It did nothing for the ancient mariner.
Got that Grand Funk song in your head, yet? "I'm your captain... yeah yeah yeah yeah..."
I know you will be cursing me later. LOL!
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
Has life dealt you some lousy cards? Play them well!
"What IS is more important than WHAT SHOULD BE. Too many people are looking at “what is” from a position of thinking “what should be”…no matter what some people will say, barriers are not the experience of any one person, or any one group of persons. They are the universal experience." – Bruce Lee
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
