Father_of_Three, I've searched for your username but cannot find any of your threads. I'd like to read about your situation. Can you send me a link?
Quote: "I don't need books to get better, you do, I'm getting better on my own."
That reminds me of something Lina posted, I believe, about how her H was working on *internal* things on his end that weren't obvious to her. Challenge her (gently, lovingly) to open up and share with you what she's been working on.
Quote: I invited her to bed sex-free for a night of cuddling. She got home at 3:00am.
Was she gambling or with friends? Isn't that a bit of an odd thing to do on Valentine's Day (without you)? I'm really sorry she didn't take you up on the offer for cuddles. I'm hearing alarms, but need to read more of your story.
Quote: I decided I was going to leave for her and told my W. Do you know what one of the things she said was - There's some old crockery in the garage - you can have that!
SuperDave: Ouch! A statement such as that, sounds as if she didn't believe you. She was either calling your bluff or she really didn't care. This is why you need to make certain she would miss unique things about you, if you were to leave. Life without you being around MUST be unattractive. You know, I think that if H were to tell me he was leaving for another woman, I might have had a similar reaction. That is my way of giving myself some room to really think it all over and formulate my true reaction.
Quote: I just never felt as if I could trust her. Also she was always late for rendezvous, phoned me constantly including when I was at home which got very dangerous. She told me she wasn't a "bunny burner" but I was glad my kids had no pet bunnies.
There definitely is a difference between a hottie and the woman you choose to settle down with. The hottie might say all the right things and make you lust for her, but it's all a game/challenge to her. It's exciting for her to see if she can compete with a wife. It's a game and you have to tread carefully because it could end as soon as you've declared her the winner OR some other hunk catches her eye For all you know, she's just horny and not into a monogamous relationship! Besides, there are hormones specifically at work in new interactions and relationships that make you feel especially aroused. There's no guarantee she would remain an HD after years of marriage to you or anyone else.
Quote: Why is it that HD woman know all the right things to say and do with a man, and our LD spouses are so freakin' CLUELESS.
CeMar: LD spouses aren't clueless! They're inhibited for various reasons. Sexuality is so complex... if something is going on in the brain, or medically, then it's only natural that sex isn't a priority! Same thing I just said above applies here. The relationship itself has a problem other than sex.
Quote: I told her, a long time ago, that I "kind of" resented cleaning up after dinner, and that, if I cooked, I'd like her to clean up. Then, she started on this Atkins diet, and I tried to support her efforts. ...I told her that I am tired of cooking for her unless we planned to eat a balanced normal meal together. Even then, I wouldn't do it unless she would help with the meal and/or cleaning up afterward.
Wow! Good job Hairdog! I grew up with the rule that if you cooked, you didn't *have to* clean up afterwards. I am glad I kept that rule and have absolutely no problem cleaning up after H cooks. We usually clean up together though. Cleaning up as you go along is just common sense, but there's ALWAYS something left! You've been a gem and now she can see what's she's been *enjoying* and hopefully miss it. Thumbs up for you!
Quote: She said, "well, think about it." I told her to find something for herself.
Was she really that rude/cold?
Quote: So, confidobics students... And finish up with 10 pelvic thrusts. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Was she gambling or with friends? Isn't that a bit of an odd thing to do on Valentine's Day (without you)? I'm really sorry she didn't take you up on the offer for cuddles. I'm hearing alarms, but need to read more of your story. 
For all you know, she's just horny and not into a monogamous relationship! Besides, there are hormones specifically at work in new interactions and relationships that make you feel especially aroused. There's no guarantee she would remain an HD after years of marriage to you or anyone else.
I grew up with the rule that if you cooked, you didn't *have to* clean up afterwards. I am glad I kept that rule and have absolutely no problem cleaning up after H cooks. We usually clean up together though. Cleaning up as you go along is just common sense, but there's ALWAYS something left! You've been a gem and now she can see what's she's been *enjoying* and hopefully miss it. Thumbs up for you! 
