I want him to be happy

[stilllookingup]

Journaling -

So about two weeks ago H reciprocated "in a relationship" life event OW created on FB. The date goes back to last Oct. The date was just few days after BD. This is all bizarre activity coming from him as he was not getting tired of fb altogether. It hurt like I couldn't explain but did absolutely nothing about it. I didn't ask, I didn't message him, I didn't unfriend him. Soon after I noticed he blocked me from seeing his past activities including the reciprocation. Then within the next few days he finally unfriended me. To be completely honest, the unfriending hurt less than seeing reciprocation and it even relieved me somehow. Soon I realized I felt that way because now I don't have to be afraid going on fb. I don't have to be afraid of seeing possible their interactions.

After this event I had a coach session and my coach advised me to be more active on fb now H unfriended me. I found this advice very valuable. If he hadn't suggested that I would have still abandoned fb altogether. He instead suggested I should actively start posting about how well I'm doing etc. After the session I changed my profile picture and started posting again when went out with my friends. I noticed my fb friends (most of them are H's family and friends) liked my pictures and postings - it's like they have been waiting to see me.

I also received a change of address confirmation letter from USPS about a week ago. H must have finally completed it online. That broke my heart, period.

Few days after that, I texted him "How are you? Would you please send me pics of XX when you get a chance?" I was asking him to take pictures of one of our cats he took with him. I didn't say anything about fb activity including unfriending me. I sent it around 10pm and saw that he read it but I didn't get a reply the whole night. I got tired and went to sleep. When I woke up I still didn't get a reply. That morning I had a weird thought that he might reply around the time he gets to work. In the past he usually does his personal texting, checking news etc first thing in the morning at work before the real work begins. I was right. He texted me right about the time when I was enjoying my morning coffee. He replied "I'm doing well. Work is keeping me very busy. I think XX has gotten fatter (sad face) I'll send pics when I get home" We exchanged few more texts solely about the cat. I didn't get any picture until 10pm that night and I figured he forgot, which again hurt me a bit only because I was really hoping he'd keep his promise. Expectations I know. I fell asleep but when I woke up in the middle of the night I noticed he sent me pictures around 11pm after I fell asleep. I said a Thanks text following morning, also around my coffee time.