WOW! Valeska's comments about manipulation through giving spouse information to process really struck a chord. This has been a pattern of mine too subtle for me to see until now.
Also, Kate, I took on a similar role with my husband in pulling away in my marriage because I thought it was what he wanted from me. Grave and stupid mistake on my part, but true none the less. But then again, I don't think my H was in a place to make a strong emotional connection with me, so it feels a little like the chicken/egg cycle.
Thank you for the insights and for the challenge to question myself about why I permitted the emotional detachment in my M. More work to do.
