Husband Threatened to Leave, Don't know what to do

[TrentC]

I guess cause when this all started it was him telling me that he is not happy with the past few months and constantly stating his need for more affection and a better sex life. I find that M problems?

We're not saying that there aren't problems in your marriage that need to be addressed by both of you. We're saying that those problems are apparently not the only thing your husband is dealing with right now.

So you take care of the parts you're responsible for fixing, and let him deal with the rest.

If he just has things on his mind why wont he talk to me about them?

I dunno, why did you ignore his complaints about physical affection for so long? Because people are imperfect; because so few of us grow up knowing what a healthy marriage is supposed to look like.

Maybe he's holding back because he's protecting himself. I mean, you two went through all of this once before and thought it was behind you. Once bitten, twice shy?

And yes I feel like i'm already crazy and suffering from this...This happened last time to me as well. I just need to sleep...I need a minute without this on my mind, a minute where I'm not scared of our next conversation and whether its good or bad...

I know exactly how you feel. I had the exact same fear when my wife BDed me. Scared of every interaction, scared that the next fight we had would mean that she would call it quit.

What eventually got me through it—and make no mistake, it wasn't easy and it didn't come quickly—was the conscious choice to stop worrying about it.

I was rereading your old thread yesterday, and it seems like it's the exact same stuff all over again. He gets distant or moody, you panic and try to hold on to him even tighter, which puts more pressure on him.

This is DB 101 stuff. Think back to when you were single and dating. Was there ever a time when you were seeing a guy and you weren't that into him? How you would have felt if he started begging you not to break up with him?