Questions without answers...am I stuck in place?

[albamarie]

Funny, all this talk about laundry. H didn't go to work last night and spent the night doing the laundry, and cleaning up. Tho he's trying to declare some independence he never does anything just for himself, he always included everything I may need as well.

I woke up as he was putting towels in the closet and I said hi, he may have groaned but I know for sure he wasn't pleasant nor did he even look at me. Ok, don't take it personal Dawn.

I am mulling over his actions and not the ''reaction'' I would have liked. Is it smart to see he was in a funk and yet he wasn't selfish or verbally trying to take it out on me as he quietly cleaned house and closed the door as he left for work?

Or, am I making excuses? There was a poster who once said I make excuses for him, I don't see it, but I also would hate to think I do.

It does bother me that he ''turns it on'' at work. A pic of him was sent out showing him at work smiling ear to ear, and my S22 who works with him says H is quite the talker, and also says he doesn't even think H knows he has a switch.

I guess when he comes home there is no need to switch on, or pretend, so I get the guy who nobody else would recognize. I don't react also because I guess I'm not trying to take the "home'' out of coming home. Smart? Door mate? Weak?

~Rh, thanks so much for sharing your story! I am going to go back to some of your other threads, you are an inspiration.

the best comparison I have to my H past history is he rarely does what he says, and he's bark is way worse than his bite. He has said since BD that he cannot be sweet or loving to anyone anymore, but if I need that I should pay close attention to his actions.

He put a monetary value on himself saying as long as he continues to kill himself working, that is his loyalty to this family, take that as the best way he can humanly love us.

~ Just a day ago he said I worry too much and to just let it play out. He is teetering between saying EA is forever and several times now saying he's hoping to be done w her.

I am keeping cool, I still keep my date in mind, and I have been focus on myself more. Talking to people more has been a very big help and I look forward to more changes coming my way.