4LC, I was divorced in June of 2002 and I didn't have any communication w/him until August of 2002 to advise him that his payout check was w/my lawyer and he would need to sign papers acknowledging receipt of the check. I then didn't actually hear from him again until after my BIL was killed in late January 2005. When I spoke to him about he funeral, he said that he had been thinking about me and had wanted to contact me, but didn't know what to expect. I let that comment go because I thought he was full of BS. Since that time, emails are civil, but he still periodically requests things from my home, which I will not give him as he received everything he requested at the time of the divorce. My motto is "if you give them an inch, they will take a mile". I don't want to encourage him by giving him things because that will become a habit w/him, i.e., just like his father did to his mother right up to his dying day and 4 wives later.
From December 1999 to now, I periodically receive odd calls from his area or brand new mail is sent to my residence, i.e., such as new subscriptions to Fishing or car magazines, his information on stocks, etc. Things that I know shouldn't be coming to me and I haven't seen since 1999. Last year, he gave my email address to the Aetna health insurance company, requesting additional information on their eye and dental plans. We never had Aetna, nor do I have it today. When I contacted the Aetna rep, he told me that he had two emails from my xh requesting info and that he would now block his emails because he felt he was messing w/me. My xh isn't done yet, but right now, his focus is on the ow (now wifey) who is dealing w/ovarian cancer. While his focus has been on her, the phone calls and odd things have actually settled down considerably and life is good, as well as quiet.
Bottom line, he needs to run until all of that anger is gone. Once the euphoria and the anger are gone, he will contact you, but he'll have to find a way to do so. It may be a very stupid excuse or something he wants to tell you about a family member or friend...but they are the ones that choose the time of contact.
Time is your friend. I know this doesn't help, but you need to let him go and be thankful that you aren't dealing w/his mlc behavior right now. Live your life to the fullest as if he may never return.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
