sorry, I was away for a few days. maybe some of the other "frequent posters" are on summer vacation too.
hopefully by now you've spoken with a DB coach. they are really great and very helpful.
I would recommend to hold off on telling your wife what you know, and to work on DB techniques. become a better choice than OM. but don't do it just to impress your wife, do it because that is the real you!
the reason to hold off on telling her what you know is - what will you do after that? what if she says she wants a divorce? etc. so work on the DB techniques till you feel the time is right. you choose the time.
don't get *too* upset by her behavior - she is not really choosing OM instead of you. remember that your marriage is real life, with all the responsibilities that go with that, but the affair is a dream world, all fun and no responsibilities. so she is not choosing OM but choosing the "dream world" of an affair over the "real life" of marriage. I am telling you all this so you wouldn't take her behavior personally.
also, when they are in an affair they are sort of in a "fog" (google "affair fog" and read about it). it's sort of like being high on drugs.
