One giant leap forward! - Part 3

[T1000]

She replied:

F**k the routine....I think they need a break from me as much as I need one from them.

I really don't like this reply. The swearing doesn't bother me as it tells me how strongly she feels about it.
I don't like being told I shouldn't have the kids because of routine then the routine gets dropped a week later.
I do find that they benefit from time apart, on Friday they can't wait to leave and on Sunday they are happy to go back.

How do I address this in a positive way that doesn't cause a massive argument?

I find as I start to write on here it helps my thought process and I can make the next move I think is appropriate.

I replied:

Telling me one week I can't have them then changing it the next week makes it hard for me to know where I stand.
I understand it can get hard.
I will let you know what days.
Probably all day Monday and Tuesday morning.

Felt like a good reply at the time.
I addressed the U-turning, I again validated and gave the best answer I could right with what I know.

Still not totally sure when this sort of behaviour should be addressed, whether at the time or at a later date.
If I was there in person and saw she was under a lot of stress and overloaded I would wait.
If I was there and she seemed fine I would tackle in there and then.