Hey Hairdog! I'm glad to hear things have been a bit more affectionate lately, but sorry you had a lousy evening.
Just wondering... does she take care of you when you're sick? One of your posts mentioned her calling your cellphone to ask for a drink? Does she reciprocate the treatment if you're under the weather? I realize we tend to get a little one-sided on these boards, but, does she do ANYTHING that makes you feel like she loves you?
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You see, when I ask for something like this, she says I use a "whimper-y" voice, and it really turns her off. But why should this make a difference anyway?


Do you really need her consent to hug? Surely she hasn't been this cold since you've known her? Was there ever a time that you could just hug her without permission first? Or is this a "side effect" of her Women's Issues classes? And I thought I had a hang up over consent! I don't understand why she's putting such an emphasis on something that shouldn't even require consent. Have the wrong ways to approach her been multiplying over the years? Surely you wouldn't have married someone like this. When and why did this change so negatively? Ask her.
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If she had said, "no, I still feel kind of sick and don't feel like hugging right now," that would have been fine. It's okay to say "no," just do it politely, if at all possible.


Did you tell her that? Stop bottling your thoughts up - say these things - she needs to know AND you need to get them out.
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Okay, so I was being passive aggressive. Is that really so bad?


No, it's not THAT bad. It's kinda silly, but it happens to the best of us when feeling somewhat powerless/hopeless!
- She refuses to hug you, so you don't feel like saying goodbye.
- She refuses to acknowledge or take ANY responsibility for your SSM, so you... hmmmm try reaching out to her. Sounds like a vicious circle to me.
It's not healthy or fair to be forced to take the blame for everything! Please Hairdog, seek counselling! She NEEDS it. If she's been more affectionate lately, why the heck would she refuse to hug you or give you a look that says don't even think about it? Something isn't right. Put your foot down!

Pam