Quote: I told her that, as the book says, our marriage, if this continues, is at risk for infidelity. She said, "if you do that, you're just avoiding addressing your problem." My problem, of course, is her view that I am obsessed with sex and need it in order to feel loved.
Wow! Is she willing to compromise with you AT ALL? I know you weren't impressed with counselling, but I think you need to ask your doctor for a recommended Marriage Counsellor or Sex Therapist. Her turning this around on you as if you're the one avoiding a problem is just mind boggling!
Hang in there Hairdog
She needs to have the ball in her court, where it belongs. The next time she says something like that, ask her for some recommendations and suggestions to help you overcome your need to make love to your wife. Of course, in a loving way. Let her know that you wish she would let down her wall a bit for you and help you understand what's standing in the way of your sexual/intimate relationship.
Maybe the more she has to think about what she says to you and back up her comments, the more ridiculous she'll find them.
