Hey, she started reading the book! That's the good news. The bad news is that she is questioning Michelle's underlying proposition that the solution to addressing the desire discrepancy problems is having more sex. Well, of course I told her that was a gross oversimplification of Michelle's theory, and that she needed to read the whole book to give it all a chance to seep in. She said that I had a need to have sex to feel loved. Once again, I told her that she was oversimplifying, and that, by doing so, she was being dismissive of my views on this subject. I told her that I felt loved, but that I didn't feel as close to her, that I felt our marriage lacked intimacy, that I missed the feeling of her naked body next to mine, that I missed touching her breasts, etc. She said, "Why?"
Now, how are you supposed to answer such a coldly rational question about your feelings? "Well, dear, the seratonin levels in my amygdala are insufficient to bla bla bla". Or are you supposed to say "well dear, it's because my mother failed to nurture me sufficiently during my infancy because she bottle fed me, rather than breast fed me"?
Two intelligent people discussing (arguing) their positions, neither one wanting to budge.
I told her that, as the book says, our marriage, if this continues, is at risk for infidelity. She said, "if you do that, you're just avoiding addressing your problem." My problem, of course, is her view that I am obsessed with sex and need it in order to feel loved.
I figure I'll give her a couple of weeks, check to see if she's picked up the book and read any more of it, and then hit the subject again.
