ROUGH morning. I woke up early, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I was able to get some office work done before daughter woke up. She is usually NOT a morning person, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear her getting out of bed in a chipper mood. She was upbeat and ready to explore her day. We hugged, chatted for a bit and picked out an outfit to start her day. That mood changed shortly after. While I was brushing her hair, she began to whine a little.....then she pretended to hurt her ankle, and she whined more....she complained and whined some more about nothing. I asked her what the problem was all of a sudden, and she replied "Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore". Talk about a few words that can take the wind out of your sails!!!!! It was difficult, but I laid down with her and expressed that Mommy and Daddy both love her very very much. I asked her what she didn't like about us not living together. She said she missed seeing us both at the same time. She didn't like us being apart as a family. She also said, "now that you're friends, you never even fight anymore". I really did my best to validate her feelings and encourage her to speak more openly about her feelings to us. It really hit home that she is struggling today. It kills me. It was impossible to fight back the tears, and she saw me crying as I held her in my arms. I just wish I could make it all better for her, but I don't 100% know how to handle it.
So here is my dilemma. WHAT do I do with this? How do I console her, and would that even help? Should I have her talk to her Mom about her feelings? Daughter expressed that she hasn't talked to her Mommy about it, because "Mommy never asks". Should I bring it up to her mom? Should I just brush it off as a transitional issue? I hate to have her see a counselor, but am I doing her an injustice by not addressing it professionally? You may recall, I had her seeing the school counselor a few times this past winter. The counselor said we (as parents) were doing a pretty good job. She said daughter was responding age appropriately to what was happening in her life. She noticed some regression and a little acting out. Other than that, she didn't note anything. All seemed to be progressing as well as could be hoped for.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to for myself either. Is this something I should get off my chest to a friend, a family member? I don't really want anyone to feel that this is ANOTHER bad thing that should fall on wife's list of mistakes. The only reason I would wish to speak with someone about it, would be to have some help in the decision making process about how to help daughter deal with it. I am okay mentally, but the idea that my daughter is hurting emotionally is a tough one for me.
