Surviving Separation

[slow_it_down]

Well I chickened out and sent an email containing pretty much all the info my H would need instead of waiting for his phone call. It's so much easier to show PMA when you can carefully edit yourself w/ o the pressure of conversation. Nothing about our sitch has me upset, but thinking about what this baby is about to do to my financial picture is absolutely terrifying. I was really afraid I'd get emotional talking money and took the easy way out by emailing.

I feel like I gave up the chance to connect a bit by talking for a change... And I really wanted to sound upbeat and positive when we talked... I just didn't trust myself not to cry over financial stress. Even with him paying support, it's just going to be tough and something I need to sort out on my own... Just bummed that money is still keeping a buffer between us.

I doubt he'll call at this point now that we traded emails about what he hastily brought up yesterday. His replies today were more positive than yesterday's so at least we didn't talk things through until he had a night to sleep off yesterday's pushy mood.

I guess more than anything I'm just disappointed in myself for not being stronger. I don't want an email/text only relationship w/ this man so ill need more guts next time to talk instead of text/email when the opportunity presents itself.