No, I'm with you, MrBond. Even if I had the money, which I don't, I would be extremely reluctant to part with it for the reason you said-- it's like paying for something I don't want.
During our initial back-and-forth texts last night, I stopped replying when she said something that didn't need replying to. She followed up a couple hours later with another text about the money and having my L & her PL work together.
I'm really curious as to what her thought process for this request is. I mean, asking the spouse you filed for divorce from to help you pay for their legal aid? There is no way I would have the chutzpah to do the same if I were in her position. I feel like she is testing me, but for what? Generosity? Financial stability? Exploitability?
I'm curious where her money has gone since she left, since I cannot think of many expenses she must have. She said she was medical leave for part of it, but still...
She said the PL needs a payment by Friday, so I think the right thing to do would be to let my W know ASAP that I cannot help so that she can make alternate arrangements.
I feel bad because I told her to let me know if I can do anything, and she has asked for two favors and I haven't been able to help her with either of them. Then again, I'm pretty disappointed that's all her contact has been about. No "how are you," etc. Is that unreasonable to want at this point in my sitch?
Does anyone have any advice on how to phrase my reply to her request? Please keep in mind that one of my faults as a husband was a lack of a empathy. I'm thinking: "[Name], I'm sorry I can't help with you with a loan, but my finances just won't let me do it at this time. If there's any other way I can help, please let me know."
