"So many aspects of DB are just common sense and self-improvement. Like, why should we ever cry, beg, or plead with someone who has says they don't want us? Even if you want the person around, that's not good form and it certainly doesn't lead a person to respect you or want you in return."
This is where I got to and am probably a couple of steps past it. Yes, I agree strong marriages can be had but it takes both sides to make it happen. It is also a commitment for it to be a continuing process.
It reminds me of the adage that success is a journey, not a destination.
I can speak from my own experience how getting so far and stopping the growth was detrimental to my M. If I had applied the same thought pattern I have for my work to my M then I would have been better off. I am constantly looking to improve my skills in my field. yet, when it came to my M... not so much.
However, looking back with a new outlook, I can also see that I was ill-equipped to do much more than I was doing. DBing maybe common sense stuff but, for me, it put it in terms that I understood. I got it. Only took several sharp blows from various implements applied firmly to my head...
The dreams are going to happen. There is little you can do to stop them. I personally believe it is part of the grieving or acceptance process. Time will temper the pain and ease up your feelings.
Acceptance has been a good plateau for me. It has allowed me to step up and be the man that I want to be... to be the man that only a fool would want to leave. Sad that we underestimate the sheer level of willpower that fools can achieve when living in dreamland.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
