Run and hide your crazy

[RosaLinda]

oh J, it's still all about him, isn't it? His 12 or 13 OW are part of HIS past, so you shouldn't think of them? He says you're sad because you think he's leaving, but should "stop rushing and see what happens" when you tell him you don't want to be married to a cheater? He thinks you appear sad to try to make him feel bad? 

This is the WORST thing "H, "You're weak. All this talk about "emotional infidelity" makes me laugh. No such thing. Its no different than if I fantasize about the woman next door when we have sex." Emotional fidelity is as important or even more important than physical fidelity, to me at least. My H could get sex down on the street corner. It's his closeness, his loving, giving all of his time and thought and affection to RT that kills me. 

"H also says maybe this is just a natural progression in Ms. This is a dif POV from bomb drop when we had the worst M in the history of Ms. Funny thing is, at BD I didn't think that, now I'm not so sure. There seems to be a role reversal of sorts. H is trying to convince me its not that bad"

Yes this is a big role reversal. It sounds like he's hoping you'll let him stick around "anchored to you" for another 2 years. And that the fact of his presence should be enough for you. 

But you are becoming detached and strong, and are considering what YOU want out of life. Which may or may not include him. But that's up to you Mz. J, not up to him. 

You did great DBing throughout this entire conversation. I agree with your points 1-4. But not #5. Don't let him drag you down with him into MLC la la land my friend!