Bea, Happy anniversary. Yes, the mlcers do remember specific, important dates. They may not always say anything about them, but they do remember.
Your xh is a lot like my xh in the fact that the ow appears to be someone who keeps them afloat. Neither of them will hit rock bottom until that hit that spot the "hard" spot in the ocean until that person is out of their lives. How long will it take? Could be soon or it could be years from now. It's very unfortunate that your xh can't see the light and realize he had a wonderful wife and family. I am very sorry that he just can't seem to get his act together to realize all of this and find a way to mend the fences with the family.
I hope you can find something enjoyable today and celebrate that special day in your own way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
