I just can't get you off of my mind

[RosaLinda]

"At some point she tells me that she wants Passion, Love, and excitement. That it doesn't seem possible with us."

Excellent DBing in such a difficult conversation FY. I can picture you gritting your teeth at this to continue to validate instead of shouting "yes it is possible if you would give me half a chance damn it!"

Has your DB coach suggested you try casual touching at all? My previous MC from BD#1, Mort Fertel (he wrote a great book named Marriage Fitness), advocates very lightly and casually touching your spouse in passing once a day to get them used to your touch again - like a a brush of your hand on the shoulder. 

I asked my DB coach Chuck about it and he said he suggests that too. I think he suggested it to T^2 also. It worked okay after BD#1, but this time being touched daily  was too much for my H so I backed off on it to once every two weeks. He seems to accept it okay now with no glaring or flinching away, and I'm considering gradually increasing it to every 10 days and try to get it back to daily. 

Your W seems a bit skittish and withdrawn, but maybe it would help? There can't be any passion or excitement with absolutely no touching. Just be prepared to answer the head whipped at you with glaring eyes or the flinching away with an innocent expressionless face

What is her LL? For a lot of women it's physical affection, but definitely not for my H, and maybe not for your W either. 

"I'm thinking I need to initiate R talks once in a while to help her feel "unstuck". The timing of when I do this will be important. Mostly just listen and let her talk. Let her know that I think we are a great team, and can be an even better one. 

Also gently let her know that if she's so sure there's no hope for passion and love between us then let's end the M. Go out and find whatever you're searching for, my love... Just don't expect me to be a best friend after demoting me from H."

This might be helpful, especially as she complainind about you "never wanting to talk about us"

This is so hard for you as your W is SO cautious and slow but TVS is right - there ARE a lot of positives in your sitch. Carry on FY, you are truly a champion DBer.