I'm very impressed with the conversation going on here. It sounds like Hairdog is doing the right thing, which is TELLING his W about the severity of the problem, even though he was terrified to do so.
This is the kind of CONFIDENCE a W wants, I believe. Ironically, the kind of tiptoeing around the issue that develops when there is a mismatch in drive causes the LD partner to become even more LD, I believe. My X was much more sensitive to my moods than previous lovers were and whereas they would just go for what they wanted, he would not and this contributed to the problem. There is a certain "b@llsiness" that works better -- no coincidence that this term is used.
I think everything MPT has said is right on the money. Hairdog and his W have a sexual problem but even before that, they have a communication problem. They are finally starting the talk and that is such a positive step. The talking will not magically solve the problem but CeMar, if you are intent on turning over every stone, this is the first one you should try. It will be scary and extremely difficult, but you will get nowhere without it.
