BklynMom, trust me. I have had my days where you wouldn't think that. Regarding the WAS and if they enjoy life knowing what disruption they have caused, I would quote my mom when she says "It's not always as it appears." I think the WAS leads a lonely life interspersed with narcissistic fun but short lived. I truly feel sorry for them because they are missing out on what's important, if that makes sense? And good advice to focus on the good things. I was just telling S16 the same thing earlier today. He is very morose most of the time.
Cadet, isn't it strange how we miss some things that were such a bother before when the kids "needed" us all the time, such as being taxi cabs? BTW, did your spouse leave before or after the empty nest happened?
Mtnman, I completely understand. And while many people would expect people like us to "move on" when we "lose" our families, the same people would be horrified if we left our families because we needed to explore on our own. If I never had a family, I think I would regret never going that route but I would probably be fine. Instead, it was my favorite thing, i.e. being a husband and a father (especially to the woman I married and the wonderful kids we had together). Like I said before, there is no replacement for them. Hang in there. While there are no guarantees, most of the what I have read from books on the subject and from stories related from those that have left their spouses, most WAS would return given enough time. The question is "do we wait?" For me, I have no interest in starting a new family. If anything, I will learn to be on my own and enjoy life as much as I can.
