WAW just said that she wants to move on

[Confluences]

Hello All~

Looking for some feedback here as I have been doing some introspection over the past few days and reading/re-reading a lot into Michelle's DR Book regarding the comments on page 151:

***There is no clear way to tell when "over" means "over" and when it means "over, maybe".***

Yesterday, Monday 7-29-13, marked 4 weeks since I have had any contact with my Wife. There's a hole in my heart but I am hoping to get going with a 6 Session Coaching next week as some large transactions should fund next week (money is allocated and being processed)....which I thought would have been funded by May and resolved most of the financial issues surrounding my marriage (which has been a 4 year nightmare....and quite understanding of why my W became a WAW).

One of the things that I have done since our July 1st conversation when she said she wanted to "move on" (which lead to me finding the DB/DR Books and this community...a life saver as far as I'm concerned) was that I went back on an Online Dating website where I met my Wife back in 2003. I wanted to "Act as if" we did get a divorce and I had to start dating again and that I would consider this medium again but approach it in a different manner. Anyway, I really found some quality, attractive women in my age range (early 40s) that have never been married and was quite stunned at it. Yet, I simply cannot convince myself to reach out and contact them or join the website again to interact with these women.

I have become a firm believer in it Takes one to Tango and I want to give this coaching thing a try so that if my Wife and I do not work-out, I will know that I did not walk away prematurely to pursue other women. I feel like I would be dishonoring myself and the real possibility of us working things out and getting to that past these fixable problems and taking our marriage to a new and wonderful level.

I know my Wife is in Charleston with her Sister and her 2 kids to spend time with them for a week but I have not had any contact with her for a month, which [censored] but this website and these books really saved me during this latest crappy phase and I am so grateful for it. My Wife has been nothing but ungrateful to me and so I have done nothing until I have gotten some of these financial matters resolved to prove that things have changed.....which [censored] but that's my only option because actions speak louder than words.

Anyway, any thoughts or feedback will be appreciated as we've been apart for almost 4 months now and I feel like time is on my side to turn this thing around even if she feels it is over for us. Thanks, everyone for reading.