I think you need to ignore the feelings of salvaging the marriage for the time being.
What you agree to, whether the minimum or maximum, is up to everyone involved. This depends on how much you want to fight or whether to give in easily.
you will need to decide what is important to you. choose your battles wisely. make a list of everything and prioritize.
What i've learned is that you need to do what your conscience tells you, while you're in a neutral mood. Dont decide anything when overly angry or overly generous. Take your time before you agree to anything. Dont agree with the idea you just want to get this over with.
Your lawyer should guide you in your decisions, but you are in control. Listen to all of your lawyers suggestions, they're the professionals.
Keep in mind you will need to live with your decision long after the anger and disappointment has receded. Dont do anything you'll later regret. Treat her how you would like to be treated. Your son will eventually learn how you handled yourself.
as far as custody, now is the time to begin the discussions. propose a few different schedules, with reasoning for each decision, and allow her to respond. it will end up being a compromise between both of you.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
