WH, I've had all those same feelings including feeling despondent. You have legitimate concerns about your security and children. You are doing your very best under very difficult circumstances.
Are you able to take a leave of absence from work while you sort things out? If so, can you leave with the kids short term? You need to get out of your home and go where you feel emotionally safe. The stress that's being inflicted on you is abuse. Please talk to your attorney about your options and stress the urgency and toll this is taking on your emotional health.
I am very, very worried about you. Please see your doctor if you haven't already. Call a crisis hotline if you need to. Please let others know that you need help.
