Need help detaching

[lost_hope]

Thanks labug! Really appreciate your comments. Of the things I listed I'd say the ones I truly want to do for myself 100% are the getting help with anxiety and being more patient / avoiding high stress situations. That's for me and most importantly the type of mother I want to be for my baby. You are correct about my recovery from major surgery and also honouring the time after. Thanks for the reminder.

The other ones I'm so-so about. I'm perfectly happy with my body and am also thankful that I inherited my moms skinny genes and fast metabolism. I've never had to work at being skinny I just always was without watching diet or exercising. And I'm also healthy besides the miscarriage and uterine tumours we discovered at the same time. So honestly the 5 times a week would be a lot for me. I do think there's an overall benefit of incorporating some exercise into my life though.

The hair / makeup thing I'm ok with bc I wear makeup and like getting my hair done. I just have slacked on it a bit. I'm very feminine in my wardrobe and so this would just compliment my style more. I do imagine it would be harder to focus on those things after baby. And I intend on being a total tiger mom so will be spending a lot of time and focus on him from day one. I don't feel I look bad without makeup (most people mistake being in my mid twenties) but I guess I look more plain and less sophisticated when I don't. I suppose I wouldn't mind looking more polished.

The cleaning thing I'm not on board with at all. At risk of sounding really snotty we have the same education level, we're both professionals, and I've always contributed to the house monetarily and always earned more (even if the disparity in salaries is not that great which is the case now). I am also instrumental in the success of our consulting business (which has suffered in the past two years bc of our issues and my miscarriage and now pregnancy). I quite frankly don't think I should be spending my free time making sure the house is spic and span. I have better things to do and think about. To be fair he cleans and does laundry so it's not like he's a guy that sits on his butt expecting me to do everything. But I am definitely expected to do more /care more. And I really just don't. He didnt allow a cleaning lady for the condo but he will for the house since its a bigger space and we'll have the baby. But that's only going to be once a week at most and ill have to tidy in between. Now I know that it will be harder for me to do this after baby and especially as I indicated i intend on spending a lot of time focused on the education and development of my baby from day one. So that one is a huge stretch for me.

What do you think? I'm doing things for the wrong reasons?