Even though you didn't really understand all that your wife was saying to you, I hope that you see your 4 a.m. conversation as really, really big. The two of you made an effort, together, to communicate.
Think on this. You may want to send your W an email today and thank her for opening up to you this weekend. You are starting to understand her point of view, but one of the problems you are both having is really, really understanding what it is like to be in the 'other person's shoes.'
Tell her one of the reasons you want her to read SSM so badly is NOT because you think it will convince her to have more sex with you, but because you are darn near certain that it will explain to her what you are really feeling, and, you'd like to read the LD section of the book with her to be certain you are truly understanding her POV.
The SSM book, at least for me, is about understanding a POV that is not native to my own way of thinking. It is NOT about getting one person more sex (although that can happen). It is about compassion, empathy, and really understanding how different people view intimacy and yes, sex.
Tell her it is not your intent to upset her, or to MAKE her have more sex with you (okay, so lie a little), but to help the two of you communicate honestly and without fear regarding a topic that is very, very sensitive for both of you.
Ask her again if she will read it with you (adding a please might not hurt).
