Today is my X's 33rd Birthday. I will probably send her a text later wishing her well. Then it's back to her initiating contact.
Overall, July was a very good month. It's a strange feeling having my anniversary, her sobriety birthday, our engagement day, and her birthday pass with very little aching in my heart. It's not quite "just another day" but I now look on those days with appreciation.
I'm hanging out with my new friend on Sunday.. or so I think. As I have said many times, our conversations together are great.. but our texting has gone down dramatically.. and she keeps forgetting our dates.
I had a good conversation with my best friend about new friend and I think it's time I distance myself from her as well. She is not doing anything wrong, but the more I spend time with her.. the more I want to spend time with her. Although she says the same thing, she does very little to make that happen.
So I feel like I need distance so I don't keep investing in something not going anywhere.
And this time around I don't want to settle. Maybe it's seeing my X make an effort that reminds me that I am worth making an effort for. That the people in my life should celebrate me, not tolerate me. That they should make time to see me if it's important.
The past two years - I have worked very hard at only allowing those kinds of friends in my life... I'm not sure why I was soo willing to change that for a new friend.
I don't think it's 5 months down the drain.. because there are lessons here that I need to learn.
The big one is that LA is a very difficult dating jungle. Folks are always looking to upgrade.
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
