Quote: when I assert myself, or do something without asking her exactly what she wants done, I tend to get criticized, which kind of destroys my urge to assert myself.
Make a list of all responsibilities. See which ones you can take over from her side of the page... even up the load as much as possible. Why not ask her what she would like you to take care of? Tell her that you'd like to take on more and give her more free time for herself. Suggest some things that you know you could do without much chance of criticism. If she does give up something, and you feel certain that she'll criticize your contribution in some way, ask her exactly how she expects "it" to be handled. I'm not saying ask her to spell it out, but just repeat what she wants you to do as you see yourself doing it, and see if she agrees with your version.
Is she working or staying home with your daughter? How old are your other kids? Do you have both genders. You mentioned that you don't want to put your kids from 1st marriage through another divorce, but you know what? Depending on their ages right now, I don't think staying in a marriage (the way it currently is) is any better than divorce. You're teaching them that happiness isn't important. Know what I mean? I'm not saying give up, I'm just saying that if your W can't or refuses to see the problem, you need to really decide how important your happiness and self worth is to you.
Quote: She has also said that I need to show some confidence. When I make 100 percent of the effort to kiss her goodnight, and, at the last moment, she turns her head so, instead of her lips I get a cheek, I can't help but feel a bit hurt. That's kind of an insult, in my eyes.
Awwww I honestly don't know how she can not feel guilty for this behaviour. Have you asked her recently if she does in fact still love you? It's kind of obvious she's not *in love* with you, but does she love you? Ask her what you can do to make her fall in love with you again. Ask her what made her fall in love with you before? Ask her what happened to make her fall out of love.
Do you think she would take notice if she thought she might really lose you?
I honestly don't know how she can not feel guilty for this behaviour. Have you asked her recently if she does in fact still love you? It's kind of obvious she's not *in love* with you, but does she love you? Ask her what you can do to make her fall in love with you again. Ask her what made her fall in love with you before? Ask her what happened to make her fall out of love.
