Do yourself a favor and do not let this issue 'go' just because you have upset her. One thing I'm sure is a problem is she doesn't even KNOW what is in the book. I'm sure she's thinking it's along the lines of 'how to spice up your sex life,' or new positions to try, or new perfume she should wear to bed... whatever.
I think you need to explain to her that the book is primarily about the mispercetions and misinterpretations couples make about sex and each other. It is a communication book, a translation book, and a frank discussion of all the things couples do to hurt each other that they are most likely are not even aware they are doing.
If you brought her home a fire engine red teddy, black fishnet stockings, garters, and three inch pumps, then yes, I could understand her reaction to you. That is not what you have done here. What you have done is made an attempt to communicate to your wife about something you think is important, and it is far more than just about sex. If she gets mad at you because you are telling her you are hurting, she needs to seriously reconsider her attack. She is making this about 'her,' she is making herself a victim... and though I well understand her feelings of 'it's never enough,' she is completely MISINTERPRETING you giving her the book.
And doggone it, hairdog, you MUST draw a line in the sand, hold your boundary, and keep at it until she hears you. Yes, things may be very, very tumultuous at your house for a few weeks, because she is throwing a temper tantrum to get her way, and to get YOU to back down. This behavior must work very well for her as evidenced by the fact that you 'knew she would be pissed.'
I'll tell you what buddy, it is infinitely better to be 'pissed off' than to be 'pissed on' and that is what she is doing to you... even though I'm sure it is not on purpose. Why do you have to put your feelings aside just so she doesn't have to be mad, or just so she doesn't have to confront an issue?
Yes, when I was in your wife's shoes, I did indeed feel like it was 'always about sex,' with my H. I was completely ignorant of his feelings. Not on purpose, but because however he tried to explain it to me would not sink through my skull. When I read the book, and when SHE reads the book, she may have a different view of the whole thing because she will realize it isn't just YOU.
If you don't stick up for yourself, hairdog, no one will. That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk, or scream, or call names, but it does mean that you lovingly stick to your boundary.
There also seems to be some serious 'control' issues between the two of you, and you may want to think about heading back to marriage counseling to address them.
