Just read up on your sitch and wanted to send you a hug and support! I'm sorry you are in this situation, but don't give up all hope yet and keep DBing!
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
Wish I could reach thru the screen and give ya a giant hug.
Its amazing how scripted so many stories like ours are, sounds like we steal bits and pieces from so many others. Its so easy to read the advice, but let emotions take over instead. Your far from alone, we just aren't in the same room with you.
I know in my case, moving out for me, although seriously lonely was the best move. I just couldn't take it anymore. I haven't given up, but my mind is telling me to sometimes (ok a lot of the time lately)
Your so brutally honest with your emotional posts, and with yourself. I think you just need to allow yourself to grieve a bit, feeling the pain is part of the process. I think once you've done enough, you let yourself off the hook a bit. Then the detachment feels more legitimate, and not so forced. Its all part of the process of getting there, theres no shortcuts, no way to bypass it. It is what it is, unfort. time is the only cure.
Have a pet? cat or dog? get one if not, sure helps.
Thank you for the responses. I could use some hugs. I feel alone where I am at both physically and mentally. I have a couple of friends in the area but for the most part it was just WH and I.
My friends are tired of hearing me talk about this stuff and although I am trying not to do it as often it still ways on me terribly. I have good days and not so good days. Tomorrow we will be separated for 4 weeks. He seems to have clearly moved on. He is on vacation with his daughter and I haven't heard from in some time. We have only spoken once in those 4 weeks. I think I told you all I received a text from him at two weeks that said "I am trying to get us back together".
It does feel very forced. I am getting less interested in whether I have contact from him because I am trying to focus on me. The key word is trying. However, I struggle with how he could just turn off.
I do not have a pet and I would LOVE one. I had a cat for 20 years. However, between animal allergies as an adult and the amount of time I out of the house each day, I do not think it would be fair to the animal.
I woke up sad today and I don't know why. A couple of weeks ago I signed up for a class tonight and really didn't want to go but I went anyway. I was awful coming home to an empty house, no one to tell about the class.
I ache in the depths of my soul tonight. I don't want to give up the dream. However I hurt so badly.
I have been DBing. I have done things I have never done before. I am trying new things and trying to move on with me. I do things to take care of me but nothing. I learn new things and better myself however It's feels like a big facade and that the inner me is being ripped raw and naked across a pile of glass shards.
It's now been three weeks since we have spoken. He just got back from a family trip. He sister posted a family picture they had done when he was home. A professional family portrait. He didn't even bother to tell me he is back. How can he not want to know if I am ok? I know he leaves again in two days for a business trip. His daughter told me. She wanted to stay with me while he is gone but I won't be in town.
I am on a muscle relaxant for my leg injury and am now wondering if can add to my depression. I thought it would be a good thing to help me sleep but I can't stop crying. I miss him and I want him to make it better. I want this all to be a terrible nightmare but it isn't and keeps going on and on. Is it just reality creeping in again - I don't know. I never wanted to divorced but how could I even consider staying married to someone who could avoid me like this. He acts like I am nothing so easily replaceable. Didn't our time mean anything to him
Stung, hang in there, I know where u are emotionally, its not a good place.
You cant be checking out what him/his family are posting, nothing good can come of it. Its just gonna tear your heart out. If its a facebook thing your talking about, shut down your acct for two weeks.
You will know when your done, no one is telling you its over, you need to slow down and get in control, impossible as that seems right now.
Turn on some music, watch a movie, read/re-read a book. Hug a pet? Keep on keeping on.
Hugs for you Stung... Its okay to cry...just don't wallow in it. Breathe and just keep picking your sself back up....in time things will get better for you. I still cry but with in I minute I try to wrap it up and put my focus else where.
I have the same thoughts, wondering how my H could be done with me so easily...wondering if he really loved me in the first place. I doesn't even matter anymore. Have to focus on us, this pain will not take us down, we will take it and use it to make us stronger!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
I am doing better. I quit taking the medication and I can control my emotions better. I had to text him about something financial. He responded with a thank you and then told me he hoped I have a nice trip. I told his daughter I was going and she must have told me. He still has not mentioned he is traveling. She has tried to reach me a couple of times and I haven't responded.
I want so badly to talk to him but I want him to want to talk to me. He hasn't tried other than that above and it was nothing, I guess it's possible he will never want to hear my voice again. It will be one full month on Sunday since we spoke. How long can this go on?
