No, the money wasn't going for anything wrong, just buying steaks and fresh asparagus and wine, when I should have been a little more careful.
The smoking issue was definitely about deceit and about doing something of which I knew she disapproved, and I screwed that up. But come on, it's over. Can we move on?
And thanks, MPT, for your comments. I think she definitely does feel like the "infrastructure" of the family, and I have probably contributed to this. I have to say, however, that when I assert myself, or do something without asking her exactly what she wants done, I tend to get criticized, which kind of destroys my urge to assert myself. So I turn a lot of things over to her.
She has also said that I need to show some confidence, yet when I do, especially in the love arena, she says I am being pushy. When I make 100 percent of the effort to kiss her goodnight, and, at the last moment, she turns her head so, instead of her lips I get a cheek, I can't help but feel a bit hurt. That's kind of an insult, in my eyes.
I wish she would forgive me for all of the real and imagined crimes, slights, insults, and transgressions, and let us move on as a couple and be excited to be together again.
