Husband Threatened to Leave, Don't know what to do

[Lll54]

I just want to start by thanking everyone for your guidance. I appreciate it more than you know...

Maybe I'm missing something but I don't see where your H told you that he was leaving. He's been doing a number of positive changes and he's happy with your progress.

The very first day he brought this up to me, I asked if he was going to leave. His response was " If I was leaving I would have already left." but then went on to say he doesn't know what he is going to do. He doesn't know what to do. He told me he isn't saying that to scare me but just wants me to know whats going on.

You said that you had the same issues before which is why he left the first time. In what way were those issues resolved? Or were they swept under the rug? What made him want to come back?

The issues before were not about sex and touch. He was unhappy overall with our marriage. We had a lot of issues that we have overcome and our marriage hasn't been better in that aspect. We talk about it all the time. So much that he tattooed our wedding date on his ring finger. This time its all about sex and affection. They weren't swept under the rug, they were fixed and our marriage got better. He came back cause he realized he made a mistake and still loved me and wanted to try again.

I really think in this situation, if you were to keep up your consistent changes, you'll be fine. When he is angry, maybe tell him that you can see that he is frustrated about something and that if he wants to talk to you about it, you'll be there. Then give him a hug and walk away.

Im trying so hard to keep up the changes. Its been a full week and I'm doing really well. And it feels good. But he isn't giving me much back. Tonight after work I asked him how his day was and he replied "not good". We had supper with his parents and he was very quiet. Right before we left he pulled me in for a hug and called me "hun" which was nice to hear. But then when we got home he just got quiet. He is struggling with something. My changes are very consistent but its so hard when he isn't giving me much back. But i'm committed. After we returned home he wanted to go to the gym so before he left I gave him a hug and he snuggled his head in a little bit and brought up an issue with his phone and how he wants to get it fixed this weekend in the big city on our vacation. I try and take these small words about the future as positive signs and it helps me to have hope and continue in my ways thankfully. But then he mopes his way out the door......

Try not to be overly concerned about whether something he says or does means anything.

But do make the best of your weekend. Try to enjoy it for what it is and not what it means for your marriage.

This is something I need to work on. Every breath, word, move he makes I evaluate. And try to find the positives in....I'm going to try and have a great weekend. He has began a new adventure in reffing hockey and also mentioned today while we are in the city he would like to meet with his boss so they can meet us and maybe go out for supper with him. I thought this was great that he actually wanted him to meet us. But unfortunately he is out of town:( Don't know what to think....