Now 2+ yrs time to get off this limbo

[planet]

newman7977
I'm in similar situation as yours. I can't accept EA as well. More they spend time together, the more hurt I feel, the less love I feel for W, the more need to detach.
The thing is, our spouses don't think its EA. They think its time spent between close friends much like when we started out.
If you say something, your spouse becomes defensive. What can you do about it? Absolutely nothing!

I think much of Sandi's pointers will work. This gets their attention. They will want to reach out but its their pride stopping them from doing so. You need to have patience, you need to have your spouse reach out first.