My Story - Need Help... Is there hope?

[Whiterose]

Hi TLW

As a woman I say, for now, leave her alone. When my H and I were together and he would contact me constantly, which he did as he is very social, and if I was busy or in the middle of stuff it would irritate me to no end......and I'm not in the middle of a MLC.

I don't make contact for a few reasons. My H knows how I feel, there is literally nothing more I can say. I've apologized for my part in it. I've told him I love him. I've said I'm in until the end. I've also told him I would not help with lawyers, etc. also, I'm a very "end game" type personality......I understand that if I contact him now I loose the chAnce of winning the ultimate prize and I'm not ready to to do that.

Have you done GAL and your 180's? For a long enough time? It's harder for those of us with spouses not in the home becAuse they are not there to see the day to day changes. Make sure you've given that a good enough amount of time. My H is always on my mind as well. We share children and then there's the fact he works two blocks from our home in a place that is visible from anywhere in our area. He also has a highly visible building with his part time job visible from many places in our city. These two places also heavily advertise tv, radio and social media so everywhere I turn he's there. He's been gone just over three months and although I think of him often I no longer allow myself to wallow in it. My concern for him is high, I believe he's in the depression stage (with replay and withdrawl) and I come from a family that hAs battled depression (sometimes with the end result being suicide) but I CANNOT let it control me. My boys need me. I need to work so I don't lose our home and again I'm keeping my eye on the prize. This community has actually helped to focus my attention so I feel that in helping myself I am actually working on my marriage.

I'm sorry if this is All over the place. I'm new and this is where I'm at currently....maybe others have some thoughts?

Take care of yourself.......