Been a while since I caught up but Tori's posts above were right on the money for me. Sorry to hear you are not in a great place.
FWIW I don't think you married a weak man. I think your H is in some sort of MLC....maybe not full blown....but his behaviours, threats to move out, anger, lying, spending, debt, confusion etc etc. I may have missed/forgotten earlier posts but did you read the MLC resources? I wouldn't advocate getting obsessed by a label, but the resource list might ring a few bells....and I don't think this excuses his behaviour.....but it may help you understand.
You sound as if you are trying to fix him......he needs to work on this himself. You do as you are doing, protect your finances, protect yourself and as you said on my post....expect nothing. Give him all the space in the world to work on himself while you continue to make yourself stronger and hopefully enjoy life....but be there (like you have) when he needs you.
His work with autism is to be commended and hope you are championing him with this?
