Your H's plan makes absolutely no sense. You have the power here regarding assets and debts. Insist the house be sold, along with any other assets, and what's left will be split whether it's an asset or a debt. Your h is an absolute fool and went about this all wrong. If he had worked with you he might have a way to keep the house, but working against you hurts his plan. You do have a say since your name is on the mortgage. I'd foil his plan of moving OW into your home. Find a way to get it on the market or make him pay you half of the equity to leave, following a refi.
I can't believe he really thinks he can demand something from you in order for you to receive maintenance. Seriously, WH. You are in a much better position in all of this than your h. He is so invested in carrying out his grand scheme. All of his actions show this. He is so fearful that it's not going to work that's why he's making demands and acting like an idiot.
Have you talked to your attorney about having the DA garnish your H's wages? Do you have to be D'd to get that? They will act on your behalf for free. He will have a heck of a time refinancing once that's in place if he's barely paying the mortgage now. Having OW move in won't help with a refi. If he calls her a renter, guess what, now he has another source of income for you to tap. Think creatively, WH. I think you will be just fine.
