DP,

If it would make you feel better seeing a lawyer then by all means do it to protect yourself but I would not tell W.

Not read your sitch (had difficulty following it) but sounds like she needs space. Give it her in abundance and focus on you and the kids as much as possible.

No R talk, listen, validate and let her see a strong man who is happy with life regardless of where she is at.

What about your issues/180's and GAL?