Questions without answers...am I stuck in place?

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for checking in on me Dawn Marie. You've been sounding pretty strong and happy! It is so so nice to hear you happy! I love what you wrote "Lets all together read, post, cry, laugh and learn how to not take it personal, and for now not give a hoot, while learning to pave our own path."

Not taking it personally is my biggest hangup in this detaching exercise. My H just came and told me that something was loose on my car's muffler, and he had fixed it. I said thank you. He said that he did not do it for me. I said thank you anyway. I used to not take stuff like that personally, it used to make me laugh.

I think that knowing he will be leaving me in a month has been preying on my mind. I know there's nothing I can do about it, and plan to be strong and enjoy my time alone. Your H will be moving out a day or two before mine leaves. I think we can depend on each other and all of the others for support, that will be a hard time for both of us Dawn

"I am fully prepared to loose him all together, it will hurt the most that he chose a POS over us only because I will never understand the allure to become a looser. But, I won’t take it personally, I know it’s not about me.

The easiest part about this, that makes me a little different from others here, is that I am not in love w him anymore. I can be hurt by him, but that hurt comes from my brain that says why don’t you put all this effort into fixing our life and getting me back to a place of loving and wanting you."

Hmmm, so you love him but are not in love with him anymore Sorry I could not resist that! I guess not loving him so desperately anymore does help to detach. It would hurt horribly to have him pick that loser over you. But you know if he does, it will just be temporary. If my H chooses the Tramp over me, it will not be temporary because I will be done at that point. Is that how you feel?

I just realized I"m not as afraid of him going away as I am of how he will be acting when he returns. When he returned from the Tramp's 2 week visit in March, he swooped me up in his arms and kissed me and we ML. He seemed so happy to see me. So I believed all of his lies about them just being friends and that they had not had sex, just kissed. But she got crazier and crazier and started really pushing him to divorce me and marry her, and on April 12th he delivered BD#2. I was totally heart broken. Oh Dawn, why do you say you are expecting another BD?

I searched for you on FaceBook, I searched DB and Dawn and DMarie and I.am.DMarie. Can you give me a clue without giving yourself away? I will send you a friend request, and will suggest some friends for you too. Then we can send each other FB messages and exchange other information more safely if you want that.