Since I KNOW your not sitting around waiting for your wifes next text..........What are you doing today???
Aerobic i hope, to stop your thoughts from swirling
188? VERY NICE- thats 1 pd away from BMI Normal for you....Right?
Push some weight around today Stud!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
After work, I'm going to run some errands, clean some stuff out my storage unit, and talk to some people about getting rid of an antique desk that I've "been meaning to restore" for a few years now. Finally admitted to myself it's never going to happen. The weather out here has cooled down here to a brisk 97, so I might go on a bike ride after work. A few nights ago, I made a new goal to myself to read a chapter of something every night, so Chapter 4 of DR is on the schedule for tonight, too.
Wish I could make it to Boston, but it's not in the cards. Tell everyone Lefty says "Howdy."
Still have 4 pounds until normal BMI... Man, what a day that is going to be. It's so damn weird seeing 18x on the scale.
She texted to ask another favor. A financial one this time—she said money is tight and she needs to pay rent to her parents and make a payment to her paralegal. I said I would have to think about it.
Internally, I was pretty irked by this request. Money is really tight for me, too, especially since I'm the one solely making the huge car payment that is in both our names every month. I mean, I guess it probably took something to ask, but I'm not sure if its humility or chutzpah.
I know MWD says someone in my case should look on a WAW asking for a favor as a baby step forward, but I almost feel like she is trying to take advantage of my desire to reconcile and what I like to think is my generous nature. In both of these texts, she hasn't talked about anything but her request.
Don't give her the money. It was HER choice to leave right? She has to deal with the consequences. Why should you even pay for the paralegal? It's like you paying for something you didn't want.
If you are going to lend her the money, then emphasize "lend" and see when you can get the money back.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
No, I'm with you, MrBond. Even if I had the money, which I don't, I would be extremely reluctant to part with it for the reason you said-- it's like paying for something I don't want.
During our initial back-and-forth texts last night, I stopped replying when she said something that didn't need replying to. She followed up a couple hours later with another text about the money and having my L & her PL work together.
I'm really curious as to what her thought process for this request is. I mean, asking the spouse you filed for divorce from to help you pay for their legal aid? There is no way I would have the chutzpah to do the same if I were in her position. I feel like she is testing me, but for what? Generosity? Financial stability? Exploitability?
I'm curious where her money has gone since she left, since I cannot think of many expenses she must have. She said she was medical leave for part of it, but still...
She said the PL needs a payment by Friday, so I think the right thing to do would be to let my W know ASAP that I cannot help so that she can make alternate arrangements.
I feel bad because I told her to let me know if I can do anything, and she has asked for two favors and I haven't been able to help her with either of them. Then again, I'm pretty disappointed that's all her contact has been about. No "how are you," etc. Is that unreasonable to want at this point in my sitch?
Does anyone have any advice on how to phrase my reply to her request? Please keep in mind that one of my faults as a husband was a lack of a empathy. I'm thinking: "[Name], I'm sorry I can't help with you with a loan, but my finances just won't let me do it at this time. If there's any other way I can help, please let me know."
Im curious why shed rather go to you then ask her parents for more time on the rent?
Lesson Im learning right now.....When the reality starts to hit them they will blame you for their sitch.
No guilt- THEY made the choice
Head held high Lefty
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I have no idea, PS. I don't know why she is paying her parents' rent in the first place, they had the extra room. I do, however, know there's no point in asking her these questions.
I have no idea why the figure she quoted for her PL was so high, either. My guess from the number she quoted is that she hasn't made any payments to the PL from the start. Meanwhile, I'm still making payments on the damn court filing fees from February!
I'm expecting some blowback from my inability to help on her first two favors, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.
