Dude, you've gotta do this. I hate this to sound like an infomercial, but... I was feeling the same way. W tends to be a bit sensitive about criticism of any kind...negative self-image, that whole thing. I figured any such request would be taken very poorly, and this has been the case in the past. She's a "type a", and a worrier. and she's been feeling very overwhelmed lately, as she's a new mom, has medical issues, etc...I could go on and on. So I'm reading the book on the sly, trying to figure out a good way to approach her, and Sunday morning, she practically has a breakdown, talking about all the crap that's bothering her. (and its totally legitimate stuff, too...I'm not minimizing her issues at all). But I'm thinking to myself, "oh, great. well, better not bring this up now; its the last freakin' thing she needs to hear". Well, I don't know why, but I figured that it really doesn't matter, now or later. If she doesn't want to read it, or do anything about it, I'm no worse off, really. It can't be any worse. You've said that you've been very "hands off" for quite some time. I was, too. for like, the last year or more, and it just ain't working for me anymore. So anyway, I gave her the book on the way out the door to work on Monday morning. (I know I reported that much in another thread already.).
I really didn't think I was going to get anywhere, either, but I can continue to report that I have been quite busy every evening since, and I'm just beside myself in shock and awe. The very best outcome I could have hoped for was a slow, eventual change in frequency to something that might be barely acceptable. "more than 0" over the course of the next six months would have been great progress. I know, its only been a few days, and it could just be some sort of short-lived attempt that will fizzle soon as we fall back into our old habits, but I don't think so. Something changed. I'm puzzled, still, because much of the information in the book is not really "new"; at least not to me. Perhaps its the way the information is presented, or organized...something struck a chord with W, unlike anything else ever has (and I've made many attempts in the past) maybe the simple fact that it was written by a woman?? I don't know.
So the question is: can your situation be any worse than it already is? what "harm" is going to come from giving her the book, and asking her to read it? What do you have to lose?
