Thanks for the feedback. Yes, I'm pretty sure it was a 1-night stand. I've thought about what FY suggests, but I'm not sure.
I agree about the comment about respect.
Thumpered, snooping is a double-edge sword for me, and difficult to stop when opportunity presents itself. It helps me to see what she is saying to others, but then I often don't like what I read.
In a way, if I didn't snoop, I would never have known about the 1-night stand, and I wouldn't be contemplating throwing out the W. But, now that I know about it, I can see how this changed our relationship.
I think that an ongoing PA or EA will prevent any positive movement in a R until it ends. No matter how much DB-ing you do, if the spouse is in a EA/PA, then you are in a holding pattern until they give it up.
