Hi SA, I'm sorry to hear of the new development in your sitch.

Personally, I'm a fan of not accepting their A. If W knows that you know, and you say nothing about it, she loses respect for you and you look weak. Look up DB member Sandi2 and you can read all about this.

Having said that, what if it were only a 1 night stand, and not an ongoing A? Would you still ask her to leave for that?

I would not snoop any more if it were me. I don't see what good can come from it. You know what you know and it's enough.

I THINK what I would do: I'd tell W I don't want any details, I just need what ever is going on to end... and I need full %100 transparency from here forward. If she's willing to do that, she can stay we'll be best friends. If she's not then I'd like her to leave, and she's on her own.

Of course not having been in this situation I really don't know what I would do. 48 hour rule for sure!

She may not like it but she WILL respect you if you do this, because she knows having an A is not right.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl