I am titanium

[RosaLinda]

Hi Raine. I just dropped by to check up on you after being mostly out of touch since Friday (mainly working but attended a party too ) and am a little nervous that you haven'y posted since Thursday. I hope you're okay and all is well and quiet at  your place and in your life. That you are having fun with the kids, teaching them to bake and all It's a good thing Wonka came over to help you stuff H back in that oven!

Have you found a counselor for H yet? I agree you'll do a better and much more thoughtful job picking one out than he would. I wanted to warn you that the first IC I tried did not even believe in MLC. She said it is just a term men use to excuse their bad behavior! Counseling should help him even if he is just going to C to appease you. 

Are you still feeling so strong Raine? Hope so! Please don't allow any momentary jolts of regret weaken your resolve. We all have them. It'll pass!

Complicated I'll have to go catch up on your thread. I'm so sorry your H went back to OW. I bet he IS worried that you're serious, and trying to backpedal. What exactly do you mean when you say you're "done"? With your marriage? Done standing?  I'm sorry it came to this but glad you're holding your ground. 

Only you can know what is right for you, and what ever you decide, I'm behind you 100%.

You asked "I noticed you said that he did not really say he was sorry and also I guess he didn't ask for forgiveness. The same with my h. Why is this? Normal people would feel terrible and say they were sorry and beg for forgiveness. Why don't our h's?"

In my definitely non-expert opinion, MLCers neither feel sorry nor apologize because they have adopted a cock-eyed view that since they are not perfectly happy - they are no longer young and the chance that their dreams will all come true is rapidly fading - that life is not fair. They have lived the past X number of years supporting their family and doing what other people (wife, boss) want them to. But now it is THEIR time to do what they want for a change. They rationalize their behavior by convincing themselves that they deserve it, whatever "it" is that catches their fancy. A car, a roulette table, an affair. And since "it" is their right, there's no reason to apologize. They might feel a bit sorry that you are devastated, but hey, you were just standing in the way of obtaining that one elusive "it" that is going to improve thir life and make all their pain go away. So...why apologize?! Silly girl!