Still at Square One!!!

[DFE]

I've told him before that without distance this is all confusing to me but he wants to remain friends for the kids. He thinks if we have a good relationship it's best for the kids. Which it is but makes things super hard on me. We went to dinner with friends tonight. We had a good time and there wasn't any tension. He has made it clear that this time it's permanent. He did say the day that he was leaving "who knows what happens in a year" but I think he was trying to make me feel better.

I just know last time he gave me some opportunities to get close to him but my pride made me keep my distance. This is my last chance and I don't want to make the same mistakes. I need to get him back and for some reason (maybe I am delusional) I think I can if I just check my pride in at the door.

I would have no expectations of anything happening on the trip. We would be going with friends and it will just be a fun trip not just for me but for the kids as well. I just don't know if that's a no no as far as DB. I know there are no set rules but what bothers me is that he doesn't see what he is missing if we take a family trip together.

Strange thing is I miss him like crazy when he's not around but when he came by the house today I was a little annoyed. I was angry and a little emotional.