Fantasy meets Reality

[RosaLinda]

These MLCers are so confusing. Did H ever let you know why he left the truck? There's been no news on the visa yet. But he doesn't leave for 4 weeks,He's got plenty of time. My H seems to be having trouble getting himself organized. Like waiting so long to apply, when he's been talking about this trip for over a month. My sister invited us to her beach house in October and he says that's too far ahead to plan. A complete 180 for him.

I know my H better watch is step with RT. i bet there is a special virulent Korean branch of the Russian mafia. Out to seduce rich American businessmen into marrying them to obtain a green card, soaking them for every cent, then dumping them. Too bad my H, who has been too sick to work full time for years, pretends to be a rich American business man to RT and her mafia brethren!

[RosaLinda]

These MLCers are so confusing. Did H ever let you know why he left the truck? There's been no news on the visa yet. But he doesn't leave for 4 weeks,He's got plenty of time. My H seems to be having trouble getting himself organized. Like waiting so long to apply, when he's been talking about this trip for over a month. My sister invited us to her beach house in October and he says that's too far ahead to plan. A complete 180 for him.

I know my H better watch is step with RT. i bet there is a special virulent Korean branch of the Russian mafia. Out to seduce rich American businessmen into marrying them to obtain a green card, soaking them for every cent, then dumping them. Too bad my H, who has been too sick to work full time for years, pretends to be a rich American business man to RT and her mafia brethren!

[Notlikingthis]

Hi RL,

No, he hasn't called and the truck is still here! Since his move he's only left the truck here when he goes to work. I'm puzzled as to why he would be so late if he is working. If it's still here in the morning I'm going to be a little worried. I know that the ow was still around town this afternoon so unless she went over and picked him up I haven't a clue as to where he is.

I left around the time that I thought he might be here to get his truck and when I came back I checked the mailbox. I felt like someone had slapped me in the face! The ow had written me a check for the tags that I picked up for my h a few days ago. She must have stopped by while I was gone. The envelope had just my first name on it (spelled wrong) but no address or stamp! The good news, if there is any, is that the checks have her name only on them and her address from the state that she moved here from! Weird. She probably is syphoning money off of the money that he gave here to cover bills and is sending it to acct in she has back home or overseas. Hey, maybe she and her h have a scam going. Wouldn't that be funny! NOT! No she isn't Korean or Russian (but from a country overseas) but something isn't right here. I guess I'll cash the check and use the "dirty" money anyway. LOL

I read on your thread that your h was using some "special" company that expedites Visa's. Hope it's not all a part of that Russian scam thing.

I think our h's are so use to us doing things for them that they don't know where to begin to take care of things like Visas and planning. Mine has his gold digging s!u+ princess to take care of him, your h has no one unless you do it for him. Aren't they something? Last time I looked October is the month after Sept. when he leaves to visit the R.T., right? I'd plan to go without him and as you're packing the car to go tell him that you'll be back on xyz day and see if he remembers the conversation that you had about going to your sister's beach home.

Your h wouldn't know what hit him if the virulent Korean branch of the Russian mafia gets a hold of him. Speaking of virulent, hopefully the strain of gonorrhea that she had wasn't the strain from Asia that is resistant to antibiotics. Geez, your h needs a slap upside his head if he didn't even ask her the street name for what she was being treated for. He really is lost in space, isn't he? Thank God you were snooping on that one. I have to restrain myself on that too. I feel like I can handle just about anything that I find but I do feel guilty the times that I've done it for something other than our finances. I've never snooped in his email but checked out his cell phone use a few times. I don't even get angry, I just shake my head or laugh.

I noticed the ladies on your thread were talking about their h's height. Mine is also a pretty tall one but since losing so much weight he is almost skeleton like. Everyone has noticed and says that he looks tired. They're asking me if he sick. 6'4', 174 lbs and maybe even less now. He's down at last 21 lbs! He has wide bony shoulders now and stick thin legs. He also looks 10 years older. I'm almost a ft. shorter than him and feel dwarfed when I stand next to him so you must really feel like a dwarf next to yours. I hope your h listened to his Dr. and starts taking the prescribed medications soon. He is playing with fire by not taking them. A friend of ours had Lyme's too and he waited almost too long to start the antibiotics. He was in really bad shape for awhile.

Thanks for stopping by. I'm off to take a peek at your thread to find out the latest.

[job]

NLT,
I have a thought on the truck issue. Could it be that he's leaving there as a way to mark his territory, i.e., somewhat like an animal does? It's also a reminder each and every time you look at it that he's still out there and doesn't want you to forget him. I know it sounds crazy, but they tend to do crazy things during MLC.

Run, don't walk to the nearest bank and cash that check. Sounds like there may be some other things going on w/the ow and her bank account. It could be that she's not transferred her banking over to where she is now or maybe she's going to keep her money at her old bank, i.e., for convenience sake.

NTL, hang in there. You are doing great. Enjoy your Sunday!

[Notlikingthis]

Hi Snodderly,

Yeah, I picked up on that address right away. Something isn't right. I know I shouldn't be trying to save him but when it comes to finances and letting other people close to his/our money, I'm going to break all of the rules. I will wait and watch to see what happens but I won't stay quiet if I can somehow prove that she is doing something other than paying the bills. I will confront her if I have to.

The acct that she opened up here is a national bank so she could very easily have had an acct at that same bank previously. The odd part is that the routing number on the check is different from the routing number that I have my separate non joint checks at the same bank. That confuses me. Is it possible for a bank to have two different routing numbers? I googled the routing number on her check and it comes up with the correct bank. What do you think? I also made a copy of the check and will deposit it tomorrow first thing!

I never thought about the fact that he could be marking his territory but you could be right. That would be his style of thinking for sure. The truck is still here and I haven't heard a word from him. Maybe I should check my mailbox for a note. LOL If he comes roaring in with the car and asks me if he can park it in the garage and go out for a coffee, I'll know that there's been another blow out at the "love nest". Things can't be going as well as he hoped they would. How can a relationship built on lies and addiction be anything but turbulent?

I woke up this morning with an odd feeling. Like something is about to happen. I can't put my finger on it but something is in the air. Don't you hate it when that happens? I hope it's a positive rather than a negative.

Sunday's have been difficult since he left but I have tried to plan something different to do each Sunday. Today will be a little more low key. Sunday dinners aren't the same but I'm still enjoying them whether alone or with someone else.

Hope the rest of your Sunday is good too. Did I read on someone's thread that you injured you knee? Take care of yourself! We need you at the computer, Dear Snodderly!

[Notlikingthis]

H's truck has officially been reclaimed. If it was here for "territory marking" then he must have thought that he'd made his point. He's left plenty of other things inside the house that remind me that he's still around. All of his winter clothes, coats and even 4 or 5 pair of jeans and some underwear were left behind. Oh yeah, and 10-15 business suits, ties, shoes and 20 or so dress shirts, still grace the closet as well. He took so much yet there is still so much left I think I may hide one of those suits somewhere that he won't look so that when the ow puts him in an early grave there will be something to bury him in. LOL If someone were to walk in here and look around, they'd think that he still lived here. The housekeeper didn't notice and he notices everything!

I'm still a little puzzled about that checking acct having a different routing number for the bank. I'd hate to get too snoopy but I want to know if that acct was set up after she got here or if it's her old acct. The check number indicates a relatively new acct but I don't know. Most people don't write checks very much any more with all of the electronic banking so it could be an old acct.

[job]

NTL,
If you are still curious about the routing number, you can always call the bank from which the check is drawn and inquire about the routing number. You can advise them that you have a check made out to you, but you want to ensure that the account is still good. She may continue to use the old account, but has new checks issued on it w/her new address, etc.

Many mlcers leave just about everything behind . It's their way of leaving their "past" behind, but also gives them an excuse to return for something. If the clothes and/or his belongings are bothering you, pack them up and place them in a room where you don't have to see them on a day-to-day basis. Yes, I would say he made his point by leaving his truck there. He's marked his territory and made sure you had to see it every day it was parked there. Poor fool...he's very lost right now.

You asked about my knee. I had partial knee replacement surgery in late January and have recovered very nicely. I'm actually able to do things that I haven't been able to do in a very long time. It was well worth the surgery and being patient and taking it one day at a time helped in the recovery, i.e., just like dealing w/a MLCer. LOL! Thanks for asking.

[job]

NLT,
I had another thought about the truck...some of them will do things to make it easier for them to spy on their spouses. Maybe he's not only using the space to park to go to work, but also it's an easy way to keep tabs on you or who you have over to the house...I don't put anything pass them when it comes to being in MLC. They tend to go to extremes and do things that we wouldn't have ever thought they would do.

Just my two cents for the afternoon.

[Notlikingthis]

Hi Snodderly,

I dug a little deeper and found out about how this particular bank works. There are different routing number is based on location of the individual branch where you open up an acct. So it appears that she either had an acct or she opened it up before she came here. The routing number on her check is from the state that she moved from. A little sleuthing and there you have it.

On the truck, I'm going with a little of both of your theories. I know he wants to keep an eye on me and have an excuse to stop by the house without having to come in but he can certainly see if there is an unknown car parked here too. What he doesn't realize is that there is an empty spot in the garage and if I was in mlc, I would have my op park in the garage so he wouldn't see the car unless he looked in the window. MLCers aren't as smart as the LBS! LOL

It was a long but fun day. I took my d shopping for what seemed like hours, then to dinner. She wanted coffee so we went to our favorite local place here.

I have to back up and tell you that the barista at the coffee shop and I have chatted quite often about life in general and about 3 months ago she looked as if she had been crying. My h asked her if something was wrong. She told us that morning out the blue her h had gone crazy and threw her clothes out of the house and accused her of having an affair. Of course she wasn't but she suggested that he was having a mlc. Long story short, he became so angry that she feared for her and her son's safety so she left that same day. She wanted to know if we had bought the rental property that we had talked about. My h looked at me and I looked at him and let him answer. He was in the process of looking for a condo or house to buy at that point. We exchanged cell numbers and had a few conversations about what she should do and I gave her a bit of advice on how to handle things (the dbing way). Today she asked me how things were going with that knowing look in her eyes. My d was standing right next to me so I couldn't say a thing and gave her a look that said, not now. My d went to another area of the coffee shop so we chatted a bit. She told me that she figured something was going on and was going to ask him where I was when he came in with the ow. I hadn't even said a word about the ow and she described her exactly as I would. Phony, obnoxious, chatty cathy, airhead etc. It's too bad that she didn't ask him where I was to see what story he is telling people. The ow told her that SHE had bought a house here, so we can add liar to the list of wonderful qualities! Anyway, we are getting together for a drink on Friday so I will fill her in a bit. I have to be careful, but her day job is as a paralegal at a very large firm in the city so I think she'll be discreet. She is a no nonsense person and I am comfortable confiding in her. She may even be able to help me with some legal advice and recommend a pit bull attorney should that become necessary. Saying that makes me sick to my stomach but I have to be prepared for the worst.

With that, I'm off to get some much needed rest.

[RosaLinda]

Good morning NLT. You sound like you're dealing well with all your H's craziness. We don't have too much choice in the matter, except to stand back and watch the show in wonder, right? Send in the clowns!

So the OW bought a house. How nice for her. Too bad the barista didn't ask your H where you were; it would have been interesting to see how he handled that one. I bet the phony, obnoxious, chatty cathy, airhead would have had an explanation. Judging by her track record for lying, she would probably say you were divorced or something. I'm glad you were able to help that poor barista. Maybe MLC craziness is more common than I thought. 

Snodderly's explanation of why your H left his clothes with you is interesting. My H moved into my S27's old bedroom a few years ago. Boy, writing that (a few years ago) shook me up a bit, this has been a long haul for me. Anyway, for the first couple of years he slept there but left all his clothing in his dresser in the master bedroom. After BD#2 this past April, he moved a lot of his clothing into the dresser in S27's room, but his socks, shorts and handkercheifs are in my room. That seems so strange to me. Also I have to knock even if his door is open but he feels free to just walk in my room. 

Yes, my H decided to use the same company that issued his phoney hotel invoice to obtain his visa. The Russian embassy site says it takes up to 12 weeks to obtain one thru proper channels, but this scam company advertises 7 to 15 days. It's been a bit longer than that already. I didn't tell him, but I did a lot of research, and besides issuing fake hotel invitations, some companies also issue forged visas. I hope for his sake the one he chose is not one of those. But he has been dying to experience "real life" in Russia. He might get a chance to see what a real Russian jail cell looks like!

I finally got a lawyer too. A nice one, not a pit bull. I have put it off for years, but my H's MLC seems to be escalating with this trip. Hopefully it will open his eyes and RT's eyes to the lies they have been telling each other. It might be the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end. 

I'm looking forward to hearing what the barista has to say on Friday.