Sure I'll address the issues but at the root of it all, it seemed to be issue #1 was sex. Of course I can't do anything about that at this point...unless there's something I'm missing.
He also said I'm lacking ambition. I'm going back to school in August so that I can return to work for the first time in 11 years.
He said I'm not social enough. I've done a great job of reaching out to people and making friends since BD and he has noticed and commented. I've built a pretty great support network.
He says we don't have common interests. I'm not sure what to do about that other than to try new things on my own just to show that I'm willing to try new stuff.
He says we grew apart, we were young, not everyone is meant to be together forever and we just didn't work. So if there's any way I can address any of that I'd love ideas. We have 3 young kids so we will still have pretty regular contact.
He says I always wear gym clothes. I've made an honest effort to get dressed in real clothes every single day since BD and don't think he's seen me in gym clothes since. I've also made a point of wearing make up most days.
As far as being done? No, just accepting that he doesn't want to be married to me right now and I can't stop the divorce process...but that's separate from my relationship with him. I will focus on making my life and my future as positive and happy as possible and if we find our way back together, great.
I think the best way to give us a shot in the future is to keep the divorce process and co-parenting relationship as positive and amicable as possible so I'm really focusing on doing that as well. It would be very easy for that to go south and us start hating each other. I'd really like to prevent that. I think he's committed to that too.
And I think it goes without saying that he would have to make some positive changes in his life for this to work. I can't overlook the fact that he's been having an affair and lying through his teeth for the last 4-8ish months.
