After reading your sitch and noting your Hs behaviour, you can't really say you were surprised, right? I wasn't.
Snodderly's advice is great. I also suggest that any contact with H right now is stopped. You don't discuss settlement, it's kids and finances.
The future is going to come anyway. You can't stop it, but you can waste today worrying about to or row. Before you know it, a lot of tomorrow's became today's and you are no further ahead.
I know it's not easy, but everyday find something to be grateful for, even the dollar you found in your jeans, you know??
While there are fall backs like kids and health, try something new everyday.
Today i am grateful I have coffee....man, I am tired
